YOU KNOW YOU ARE AN ACME DOG HOUSE JUNKIE WHEN........
You wake up at 3a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop
to check for new postings on the way back to bed.
You get a tattoo that reads "This body
best viewed with Netscape Navigator 1.1 or higher".
You name your dogs Eudora, Mozilla, and Dotcom.
You turn off your modem and get this awful
empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
You spend half of the plane trip with your
laptop on your lap and your lapdog in the overhead compartment.
You decide to stay in college an extra
year just for the free internet access.
You laugh at people with 9600-baud modems.
You start using smiles in your snail mail.
Your hard drive crashes. You haven't logged on for 2 hours,
you start to twitch. You pick up the phone and dial your
ISP's access number, you try to hum to communicate with the modem
....and you succeed!
You find yourself typing com
after every period when using a word processor.com
You start introducing yourself as "Johndoe at AOL dot com".
All of you friends have an @ in their names.
Your dog has its own web page!
You can't call your mother, she doesn't have a modem.
You check your e-mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again!
You don't know what sex three of your closest friends are, because they have neutral nicknames, and you never bothered to ask.
You move into a new house and you decide to Netscape
before you landscape.
You tell the cab driver you live at "www.100.garden/house/brick.htm".
You start tilting your head sideways to smile:-)
A friend calls and says "How are you? Your phones have been busy-----for a year!!!!!"
You forgot how to work the TV remote control.
You see something funny and scream, "LOL, LOL."
You meet the mailman at the curb and swear he said YOU'VE GOT MAIL.
You sign off and your screen says you were on for 3 days and 45 minutes.
You fall asleep, but instead of dreams you get IMs.
You buy a laptop and a cell phone so you can have internet access in your car.
Tech support calls YOU for help.
You beg your friends to get an account so you can "hang out."
You get a second phone line just to call out for pizza.
You purchase a vanity car license plate with your screen name on it.
You say "he he he he" or "heh heh heh" instead of laughing.
You say "SCROLL DOWN" when someone asks what it was you said.
You sneak away to your computer when everyone goes to sleep.
You talk on the phone with the same person you are sending an instant message to.
You look at an annoying person off line and wish
that you had your ignore button handy.
"Where did the time go??"
You sit on the board for 6 hours for that certain person to post.
You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.
You end your sentences with.....three or more periods.......
Being called a newbie is a major insult to you.
You're on the phone and say BRB.
Your teacher or boss recommends a drug test for the blood shot eyes.
Your answering machine/voice mail sounds a little like this...."BRB. Leave your S/N and I'll TTYL ASAP".
You need to be pried from your computer by the Jaws-of-life.